5 Ways to Cope Through the Holidays
Let’s face it. While holidays can be festive and joyful, they can also come with a host of difficulties. Pain doesn’t stop when the holidays roll around. You may feel overwhelmed with family, or you might be alone. You might expect yourself to feel the festive cheer, but instead feel empty or humdrum. This is not just a coincidence, as it’s common to feel this way around the winter months. Holidays can be a yearly reminder of cheerful memories and traditions, or a yearly trigger for pain and turbulent relationships. What I can offer you is not a cure to the holiday blues, but a chance to prioritize your mental health this holiday season. Here are five coping skills to help you enjoy your holidays.
1. Mindfulness
Nothing detaches us like regret and fear. Our imagination can pull us into the pain of the past or it can pull us into preparing for a dangerous future. On the other hand, mindfulness is the state of existing where your feet are. That’s where your life is happening. Imagine a beautiful party lit by fairy lights and echoing with laughter. If all you’re thinking about is your previous argument with your spouse or parent, then you’re not fully engaged with the stimuli around you. You’re not taking in the moment. To bring you to where your feet are, we need to start with what’s literally around you.
Grounding Exercise
Mindfulness means paying attention to the stimuli in your environment. So the next time you’re feeling your mind slip into the past or future, take inventory one sense at a time. Take two minutes to focus on everything you see. Then two minutes with everything you hear. Then everything you feel with your hands, and everything you smell. Once you are connected with the stimuli around you, you are paying attention to life occurring right now. To finish your grounding exercise, I would encourage also being mindful of everything NOT there. This means taking two minutes to pay attention to all the empty space around you, and then two minutes to listen to some silence wherever you can find it. Now that you’re grounded to your surroundings, let’s address what you feel on the inside.
2. Listen to Internal Cues
Your body has a signal for just about anything. It lets you know when you need a warm jacket, or when you need some iron or salt. Your body even tells you when you need to sleep and recharge. These internal cues are important for sustaining our physical health as well as our mental health. If you are feeling exhausted, listen to it, and find a way to rest. If you feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, find a way to section off some time for yourself. Your brain and body often know what they’re talking about, so it’s good for us to listen. You can take three minutes to yourself in your room or a restroom to evaluate what you need. Close your eyes, breathe deeply (five seconds in, eight seconds out), and listen. What do you need? What is painful, and what sounds relieving? What would fit your values? Now that you have received the messages, it’s up to you to act on them.
3. Behavioral Activation
This is a pivotal piece in managing your mental health throughout the holidays. Behavioral activation means doing whatever it is that would make you feel good, even if it’s been rough to get to. If you feel the need to move, go exercise or find a natural way to move such as cleaning or organizing. If you need to talk, find someone willing to chat. This means accepting invitations, and engaging in activities you know you will enjoy. It’s acting in service to your mental health. It’s reacting to your internal messages about what you need. If it’s important to you, it’s important to act on.
4. Stay Connected
The holidays provide a great opportunity to connect with loved ones. This can be parents, siblings, close friends, neighbors, and so on. It can be a text, a FaceTime, or time spent together. No matter the method, do yourself a favor and connect with them. These are the people who make you feel loved, not obligated. As much as you would love to hear from them, they would probably like to hear from you too. So reach out to your loved ones. Keeping in touch with your support system is vital, and staying connected with yourself is important as well.
5. Take Back Your Time
It’s important to remember this is your holiday season too. Even if you are the host, you deserve time to immerse yourself in festive feelings. Family conflict or difficult circumstances may pull your attention from the here and now. It’s worth, at least once a day, checking in with yourself about the state of your mental health during these holidays. When you take time to slow down, be mindful of where you are, listen to what you need, meet those needs, stay connected with those you love, and take time to connect with yourself, you will be set to take on the holidays.
