Top Phrases for Flourishing Relationships - Part 2

Communication can always be improved. The better you learn to funnel your thoughts and emotions into words the better your relationships become. However, a lack of healthy communication is not always a sign of contempt or hate. Speaking and listening are cultural, taught, and practiced. This means that communication is a technique you can improve. Like dance, where a small change in footwork can change the entire routine, a few helpful phrases can improve the course of a conversation. These phrases are composed of three factors that were discussed in part one:

1. Awareness

2. Emotion

3. Power

These three factors form many of the interactions we have with others. Awareness refers to your recognition of your emotion as well as other people’s emotions. Emotion refers to the feelings you try to convey, and power refers to the dynamic within relationships. Today, We will cover a phrase for a flourishing relationship that utilizes all three of these components and can bolster any repair attempt:

Phrase #2:

"What I Said was Hurtful, Can You Please Forgive Me?"

(Emotion + Awareness + Power)

Taking accountability is never easy. This means if you feel awful for telling a loved one how you hurt them, you’re probably doing exactly what you need to be doing. The first half of the sentence, “What I said was hurtful” is another statement that incorporates awareness and emotion, but of the other person. This is an essential tool for communication, and many refer to this ability as “theory of mind” where we can semi-accurately guess the emotions of the other person. It’s imperative to recognize the other individual’s emotion as this awareness leads to purposefully handing over one’s power in the conversation. 

Admitting to mistakes can be incredibly challenging, especially when they hurt others. That means that when you understand that someone feels hurt because of what you did, you place your forgiveness in their hands. You give them the power to be the one forgiving, and that means taking a place of humility. However, this transaction is often applied in the wrong manner. Asking for forgiveness is not mutually exclusive between either you or the other person. You both can be held accountable for your offenses. That is why another great statement you hear within relationships is “I forgive you, can you please forgive me? Mutual forgiveness is not making the conversation “even” but it is taking account for all offenses made. 

To be clear, this is not an easy statement to make. This is especially true if you are in the heat of conversation or if you are in the aftermath of an emotionally draining conflict. However, this phrase could allow you to be the person that you want to be. Wanting better communication in your relationships is one thing, but finding the courage to let those thoughts leave your lips is another. I encourage you to take a chance and take accountability and even tell your loved one how they must feel on the inside due to your actions. Having awareness of your emotion is difficult, and so is finding humility. However, if you choose these actions, then you open a door to managing all sorts of behaviors. Once you master your behaviors and learn to manage your responses to fit who you want to be, then you can adapt to most situations’ life can offer.

Thank You For Reading!

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